I don\u2019t get many children \u201csent to the office\u201d for\u00a0misbehavior. Maybe a dozen in a school year.\u00a0Pretty remarkable considering the size of our\u00a0student body. To find out why, the article Given\u00a0<\/b>The Right Conditions <\/b>in the April newsletter.\u00a0Does that mean children behave perfectly all the\u00a0time at Raintree? No, of course not. But what\u00a0happens if they are sent to the office?<\/p>\n
It depends on the age of the child, of course, andthe issue. For some it is simply a place to cool\u00a0down. My method is benign neglect with doses\u00a0of empathy and optimism. What? Neglect?<\/p>\n
Child comes to the office accompanied by\u00a0teacher. Teacher leaves, child stays. I say,\u00a0\u201cYou must be having a hard time today. That\u2019s\u00a0too bad. Have a seat.\u201d My chairs have wheels\u00a0on them so I push the chair facing the window so they can watch the cars in the parking lot, and\u00a0they don\u2019t have to stare at me, a\u201cface-saving\u201dtechnique. I might say, \u201cI\u2019m looking for a red\u00a0car. If you see one coming into the parking lot,\u00a0will you let me know?\u201d After a while I said,\u00a0\u201cOh, by the way, when you have some ideas\u00a0about how to fix your problem, let me know.\u00a0I\u2019m pretty busy right now though,\u201d at which\u00a0point I type madly on my computer acting busy\u00a0and don\u2019t make eye contact. And then I wait.\u00a0And wait.
\nMost kids don\u2019t come up with a\u00a0solution. They are mesmerized by the cars, or\u00a0are seriously searching for the mysterious red\u00a0car. So after a while I say, \u201cFound the car?\u201d\u00a0And then later I say, \u201cYou know other kids have\u00a0had the same problem. Want some ideas?\u201d Child\u00a0might bite, but usually they are silent. I start\u00a0with a silly one, and say, \u201cHow about that?\u201d and\u00a0they say, \u201cNo!\u201d This is mostly to break the ice\u00a0and assure them everyone makes mistakes, and\u00a0we can get through this. So I recommend a few\u00a0more ideas until they latch on to one that will\u00a0work for them. If they are an older child, I say,\u00a0\u201cDo you think you can handle this yourself, or\u00a0do you want me to go with you?\u201d If they say\u00a0they can do it themselves, and the infraction isn\u2019t\u00a0very serious, I say, \u201cGreat. I\u2019ll be checking with\u00a0you and the teacher in a few minutes to see how\u00a0it worked out. I sure hope the next time I see\u00a0you in my office it will be for you to show me\u00a0some great work. Good luck.\u201d If it is a younger\u00a0child, we return hand-in-hand to the classroom.\u00a0Even these office visits end on a good note, and\u00a0hopefully, a better day for everyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t get many children \u201csent to the office\u201d for\u00a0misbehavior. Maybe a dozen in a school year.\u00a0Pretty remarkable considering the size of our\u00a0student body. To find out why, the article Given\u00a0The Right Conditions in the April newsletter.\u00a0Does that mean children behave perfectly all the\u00a0time at Raintree? No, of course not. But what\u00a0happens if they are sent to the office? It depends on the age of the child, of course, andthe issue. For some it is simply a place to cool\u00a0down. My method is benign neglect […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11258,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[43,44],"class_list":["post-11249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raintree","tag-montessori","tag-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\n