{"id":13187,"date":"2019-02-28T10:51:34","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T15:51:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/?p=13187"},"modified":"2019-02-28T10:53:17","modified_gmt":"2019-02-28T15:53:17","slug":"why-are-kids-impatient-bored-friendless-and-entitled","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/why-are-kids-impatient-bored-friendless-and-entitled\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are Kids Impatient, Bored, Friendless, and Entitled?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Victoria Prooday<\/p>\n

Kids today are in a devastating emotional state! Most come to school emotionally unavailable for learning. There are many factors in our modern lifestyle that
\ncontribute to this.<\/p>\n

I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. Clearly, throughout my time as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen and continue to see a decline in children\u2019s social, emotional, and academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.<\/p>\n

As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment, we can make the brain \u201cstronger\u201d or make it \u201cweaker\u201d. I truly believe that, despite all our greatest intentions, we unfortunately remold our children\u2019s brains in the wrong direction. Here is why:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. KIDS GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT<\/strong>
    \n\u201cI am Hungry!!\u201d \u201cIn a sec I will stop at the drive thru\u201d \u201cI am Thirsty!\u201d \u201cHere is a vending machine.\u201d \u201cI am bored!\u201d \u201cUse my phone!\u201d The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have the best intentions \u2014 to make our child happy \u2014 but unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in the long term. To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors, which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.
    \nThe inability to delay gratification is often seen in classrooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores the moment the child hears \u201cNo\u201d because parents have taught their child\u2019s brain to get what it wants right away.<\/li>\n
  2. LIMITED SOCIAL INTERACTION<\/strong>
    \nWe are all busy, so we give our children digital gadgets and make them \u201cbusy\u201d too. Kids used to play outside, where, in unstructured natural environments, they learned and practiced their social skills.<\/em>
    \nUnfortunately, technology replaced the outdoor time. Also, technology made the parents less available to socially interact with their child. Obviously, our kids fall behind… the babysitting gadget is not equipped to help kids develop social skills. Most successful people have great social skills. This is the priority!
    \nThe brain is just like a muscle that is trainable and re- trainable. If you want your child to be able to bike, you teach him biking skills. If you want your child to be able to wait, you need to teach that child patience. If you want your child to be able to socialize, you need to teach him social skills. The same applies to all the other skills. There is no difference!<\/li>\n
  3. ENDLESS FUN<\/strong>
    \nWe have created an artificial fun world for our children. There are no dull moments. The moment it becomes quiet, we run to entertain them again, because otherwise, we feel that we are not doing our parenting duty.
    \nWe live in two separate worlds. They have their \u201cfun\u201c world, and we have our \u201cwork\u201d world. Why aren\u2019t children helping us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don\u2019t they tidy up their toys? This is basic monotonous work that trains the brain to be workable and function under \u201cboredom,\u201d which is the same \u201cmuscle\u201d that is required to be eventually teachable at school.
    \nWhen they come to school and it is time for handwriting their answer is \u201cI can\u2019t. It is too hard. Too boring.\u201d Why? Because the workable \u201cmuscle\u201d is not getting trained through endless fun. It gets trained through work.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. TECHNOLOGY<\/strong>
    \nUsing technology as a \u201cFree babysitting service\u201d is, in fact, not free at all. The payment is waiting for you just around the corner. We pay with our kids\u2019 nervous systems, with their attention, and with their ability for delayed gratification.
    \nCompared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with the graphic explosions and special effects that they are used to seeing on the screens. After hours of virtual reality, processing information in a classroom becomes increasingly challenging for our kids because their brains are getting used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges. Technology also disconnects us emotionally from our children and our families.
    \nParental emotional availability is the main nutrient for child\u2019s brain.<\/strong> Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children of that nutrient.<\/li>\n
  5. KIDS RULE THE WORLD<\/strong>
    \n\u201cMy son doesn\u2019t like vegetables.\u201d \u201cShe doesn\u2019t like going to bed early.\u201d \u201cHe doesn\u2019t like to eat breakfast.\u201d \u201cShe doesn\u2019t like toys, but she is very good at her iPad\u201d \u201cHe doesn\u2019t want to get dressed on his own.\u201d \u201cShe is too lazy to eat on her own.\u201d This is what I hear from parents all the time. Since when do children dictate to us how to parent them? If we leave it all up to them, all they are going to do is eat macaroni & cheese, watch TV, play on their tablets, and never go to bed.
    \nWhat good are we doing them by giving them what they WANT when we know that it is not GOOD for them? Without proper nutrition and a good night\u2019s sleep, our kids come to school irritable, anxious, and inattentive. In addition, we send them the wrong message. They learn they can do what they want and not do what they don\u2019t want.
    \nThe concept of \u201cneed to do\u201d is absent. Unfortunately, in order to achieve our goals in our lives, we have to do what\u2019s necessary, which may not always be what we want to do. For example, if a child wants to be an A student, he needs to study hard. If he wants to be a successful soccer player, he needs to practice every day. Our children know very well what they want, but have a very hard time doing what is necessary to achieve that goal. This results in unattainable goals and leaves the kids disappointed.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    TRAIN THEIR BRAIN<\/strong>
    \nYou can make a difference in your child\u2019s life by training your child\u2019s brain so that your child will successfully function on social, emotional, and academic levels. Here is how:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Don\u2019t be afraid to set the limits. Kids need limits to grow happy and healthy!!\n
        \n
      • Make a schedule for meal times, sleep times, technology time.<\/li>\n
      • Think of what is GOOD for them- not what they WANT\/DON\u2019T WANT. They are going to thank you for that later on in life. Parenting is a hard job. You need to be creative to make them do what is good for them because, most of the time, that is the exact opposite of what they want.<\/li>\n
      • Kids need breakfast and nutritious food. They need to spend time outdoors and go to bed at a consistent time in order to come to school available for learning the next day!<\/li>\n
      • Convert things that they don\u2019t like doing\/trying into fun, emotionally stimulating games.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
      • Limit technology and re-connect with your kids emotionally.\n
          \n
        • Surprise them with flowers, share a smile, tickle them, put a love note in their backpack or under their pillow, surprise them by taking them out for lunch on a school day, dance together, crawl together, have pillow fights.<\/li>\n
        • Have family dinners, board game nights, go biking, go to outdoor walks with a flashlight in the evening.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
        • Train delayed gratification.\n
            \n
          • Make them wait!!! It is ok to have \u201cI am bored\u201c time \u2013 this is the first step to creativity<\/li>\n
          • Gradually increase the waiting time between \u201cI want\u201d and \u201cI get\u201d<\/li>\n
          • Avoid technology use in cars and restaurants, and instead teach them waiting while talking and playing games<\/li>\n
          • Limit constant snacking<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
          • Teach your child to do monotonous work from early years as it is the foundation for future \u201cworkability.\u201d\n
              \n
            • Folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table, making lunch, unpacking their lunch box, making their bed<\/li>\n
            • Be creative. Initially make it stimulating and fun so that their brain associates it with something positive.<\/li>\n
            • Teach them turn taking, sharing, losing\/ winning, compromising, complimenting others, using \u201cplease and thank you.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              About the author Victoria Prooday
              \nVictoria holds a Master of Science in Occupational Therapy from the Medical School at University of Toronto and a Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology and Health Science from York University. \u201cFrom my experience as an occupational therapist, the kids changes the moment parents change their perspective on parenting. Help your kids succeed <\/em>in life by training and strengthening their brain sooner rather than later!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              By Victoria Prooday Kids today are in a devastating emotional state! Most come to school emotionally unavailable for learning. There are many factors in our modern lifestyle that contribute to this. I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. Clearly, throughout my time as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen and continue to see a decline in children\u2019s social, emotional, and academic functioning, as well as a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13190,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[70,44,61],"class_list":["post-13187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-brain-development","tag-parenting","tag-technology"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Are Kids Impatient, Bored, Friendless, and Entitled? • Raintree Montessori<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/why-are-kids-impatient-bored-friendless-and-entitled\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Are Kids Impatient, Bored, Friendless, and Entitled?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Victoria Prooday Kids today are in a devastating emotional state! 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Most come to school emotionally unavailable for learning. There are many factors in our modern lifestyle that contribute to this. I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. 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