{"id":15180,"date":"2025-06-01T19:07:50","date_gmt":"2025-06-02T00:07:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/?p=15180"},"modified":"2025-12-28T19:16:06","modified_gmt":"2025-12-29T01:16:06","slug":"the-good-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/the-good-child\/","title":{"rendered":"The Good Child"},"content":{"rendered":"
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by Chip DeLorenzo<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n

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\u201cThe obedience which is expected of the child both in the home and in the school \u2013 and obedience admitting neither of reason nor of justice \u2013 prepares man to be docile to blind forces.\u00a0\u201d ~ Maria Montessori<\/i><\/p>\n

Annabelle seemed to be the ideal Montessori child. She was friendly, helpful, cooperative, quiet, and focused on her work, which she always completed with great care. She was well-liked by both her teachers and peers. In high school, Annabelle earned numerous awards for her academic achievements and extracurricular activities. She went on to have an outwardly illustrious college career and was often featured in \u201calumni achievement\u201d posts on her Montessori alma mater\u2019s social media accounts.<\/p>\n

You may have had a child like this in your classroom who seemed to be the model student. They were a joy to have\u2014they followed classroom ground rules, were engaged in their work and lessons, cooperated with adults and always seemed to be doing the \u201cright thing.\u201d\u00a0 If every child behaved this way, teaching might feel effortless.<\/p>\n

Yet, something seemed out of balance.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you\u2019ve even shared a quiet joke with a colleague: \u201cMy goal for Annabelle is for her to get in trouble\u2014just once\u2014before the school year ends.\u201d<\/p>\n

While said in humor, this remark often springs from a deeper concern\u2014an intuition that something isn\u2019t quite right.<\/p>\n

Children learn best through experience, and that includes making mistakes. The self-correcting materials in a Montessori classroom provide continuous opportunities for trial and error. This learning process is not limited to academic work, but applies to social development as well (Lillard, 2017).<\/p>\n

Although Grace and Courtesy lessons are foundational for teaching social skills, they represent only the beginning \u2013 the first period of the learning the social skill. Children need ongoing practice to truly internalize these skills\u2014and practice inevitably involves mistakes \u2013 the second period of the lesson. Learning to live and work together in a classroom community is a complex, sometimes messy process (Standing, 1957).<\/p>\n

This is why the so called \u201cgood child\u201d raises concern. This child doesn\u2019t seem to make the same developmentally typical social mistakes or face the same challenges their peers encounter. Their behavior is often passive\u2014they might avoid conflict, be externally motivated, rely heavily on teacher direction, focus heavily on rules, strive for perfection, work quietly, and readily accommodate others (Dreikurs, Grunwald, & Pepper, 2004).<\/p>\n

Because this atypical behavior is not only socially acceptable but often rewarded by adults, it may go unnoticed or unaddressed\u2014particularly when more overt behavioral challenges in the classroom demand immediate attention.<\/p>\n

If your intuition whispers, \u201cSomething feels off,\u201d listen to it!<\/p>\n

Misbehavior, at its core, is a mistaken belief about what one needs to do to find a sense of belonging and significance. The \u201cgood child\u201d often believes that perfection is the path to this social connection and acceptance. Ironically, this \u201cgood behavior\u201d can itself be a form of misbehavior\u2014because it does not foster true connection and genuine relationships.<\/p>\n

This was Annabelle\u2019s story. Despite her academic achievements and outward social success\u2014both during and after her time in Montessori\u2014Annabelle struggled to form authentic connections with her peers and experienced ongoing anxiety. Her \u201cgood child\u201d behavior, though praised and encouraged, ultimately led to a sense of separation rather than genuine belonging.<\/p>\n

Strong and resilient relationships develop through navigating mistakes and challenges together, with mutual support. \u00a0Without these opportunities, children miss vital opportunities to cultivate life and relationship skills such as patience, tolerance, forgiveness, empathy, flexibility, and the ability to make amends (Nelsen, 2006).<\/p>\n

Rudolf Dreikurs highlighted that passive misbehavior may be more concerning than active misbehavior precisely because it often goes unnoticed\u2014it aligns with social expectations. The \u201cgood child\u201d is agreeable and compliant, rarely requiring redirection. Yet, as Dreikurs reminds us:<\/p>\n

\u201c[Actively misbehaving children] can be induced to use constructive methods [to find connection], if such channels are opened to them; but it is difficult to change a passive child into an active one.\u201d (Dreikurs, 1968)<\/p>\n

This raises important questions for us as Montessori educators: How do we support these children? How do we gently encourage them to take risks, make mistakes, test limits, open up to others, embrace playfulness, or advocate for themselves and others?<\/p>\n

Note:<\/strong>\u00a0Some children with undiagnosed learning differences may adopt \u201cgood child\u201d behaviors as a way to mask their struggles, effectively \u201cflying under the radar\u201d as adults focus their attention on redirecting more active classroom disturbances.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Good Child and Planes of Development<\/strong><\/p>\n

Children\u2019s House (Ages 3-6)<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Children begin to exhibit signs of \u201cgood child\u201d misbehavior in early childhood as they internalize adult and environmental expectations. Common manifestations include passivity, conformity, being overly responsible for their age, lack of spontaneity, avoidance of challenging tasks, and a strong desire to please adults and other children. More active behaviors may include policing or controlling peers\u2019 behavior and tattling.<\/p>\n

Elementary (Ages 6-12)<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 \u201cGood child\u201d misbehavior takes on more concerning characteristics during the second plane of development. Children may suppress emotions, fail to set reasonable and appropriate boundaries, be overly polite, rarely break ground rules or social norms, and exhibit shame or denial when confronted by peers or adults. They may avoid conflict and challenging social situations, rarely take leadership opportunities, focus more on academic products rather than the learning process, avoid risks, and never seem to \u201cget in trouble.\u201d Social relationships at this stage may also be superficial. As in the Children\u2019s House, more active behaviors might include taking on adult roles that are incompatible with their age, such as policing other children\u2019s behavior or identifying more with adults than peers.<\/p>\n

Adolescence (Ages 12-18)<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 During adolescence, \u201cgood child\u201d behavior becomes even more observable and often more concerning. Adolescents may display many of the same behaviors seen in elementary students, but the consequences are heightened because this is a sensitive period for individuation and identity formation. Without exploration and risk-taking, these characteristics may inhibit full development. Behaviors such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, conflict avoidance, failure to take healthy risks (socially, academically, or personally), shallow peer relationships, and excessive conflict avoidance contradict normal adolescent development.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood child\u201d behavior in adolescents may also include appearing more responsible than expected for their age. While they may seek to identify or align with adults, this unique form of misbehavior often results in superficial relationships with peers and adults, as aligning with adults breaks typical adolescent social norms. More overt behaviors may include competitiveness, intolerance of others\u2019 mistakes, and a lack of empathy.<\/p>\n

The long-term consequences of \u201cgood child\u201d behavior can be significant and should not be overlooked. Repressed emotions, anxiety, depression, poor boundary-setting, social isolation, and developmental delays are common outcomes. These patterns may emerge later as high-risk behaviors, when the stakes are much greater. While parents may believe they have successfully avoided the typical challenges of adolescence, what appears as compliance may, in fact, represent a postponement of essential developmental work rather than true prevention.<\/p>\n

Preparation of the Environment and the Adults<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  • Model and Celebrate Making Mistakes<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Children are influenced not only by adult expectations but also by adults\u2019 modeling. An adult who appears never to make mistakes may unintentionally send the message that it\u2019s not OK to make a mistake. Be sure to share your own mistakes openly. Intentionally point them out and model how correcting mistakes is vital to learning and growth.<\/li>\n
  • Model Having Fun<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Have impromptu dance parties, play with children on the playground, take time to read together, sing songs, read poetry, and tell jokes. Let the \u201cgood child\u201d know that having fun and being human is encouraged!<\/li>\n
  • Demonstrate Unconditional Acceptance<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 \u201cGood child\u201d behavior may not always warrant traditional correction or redirection, but children watch closely how adults respond to misbehavior. Avoid punitive responses and respond kindly and firmly when children misbehave. This sends the message: \u201cYou can be loved and accepted even when you need to be redirected!\u201d<\/li>\n
  • Provide Opportunities for Creativity<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 The child may be overly focused on rules, linear progressions, rote tasks, or areas where they feel more naturally talented. Provide and encourage creative, process-oriented work\u2014such as visual and performing arts, creative writing, music, and poetry.<\/li>\n
  • Provide Opportunities for Natural Conflict<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Group projects and team-building games\u2014especially with elementary and adolescent students\u2014offer valuable opportunities for natural conflict. Because the focus is usually on the objective rather than personal relationships, these settings create a low-stakes environment to practice conflict resolution and relationship skills.<\/li>\n
  • Focus on Process, Not Outcome<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 While this principle may be well understood by Montessorians, it is easy to fall into the trap of letting external pressures for academic achievement unintentionally influence how we interact with children. Use encouragement rather than praise. Encouragement focuses on the child\u2019s effort, progress, and process; praise centers on adult expectations and outcomes. Research by Carol Dweck shows that verbal encouragement supports risk-taking and self-confidence. (Dweck, 2006).<\/li>\n
  • Ensure Consistent Adult Communication<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Because \u201cgood child\u201d misbehavior is often reinforced by adults, be sure to communicate goals and plans for this child with all adults who work with them. The child will need consistent support and encouragement from all adults to find more constructive ways to experience belonging and significance.<\/li>\n
  • Class Meeting \u2013<\/strong>\u00a0Through problem-solving in the\u00a0Class Meeting\u00a0<\/em>children experience, firsthand, that mistakes are truly an opportunity to learn and grow, together, and that no one is \u201cin trouble\u201d or rejected when they make mistakes, even when those mistakes are big!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Grace and Courtesy Skills<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    • Making and Correcting Mistakes<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Ask children how they feel when they make mistakes? Ask how they feel when they make mistakes?\u00a0 Are mistakes bad?\u00a0 Why not?\u00a0 Practice acknowledging mistakes.\u00a0 Brainstorm ideas and role-play how to correct mistakes \u2013 acknowledging, repairing, offering help, etc.<\/li>\n
    • Making Amends<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 When we make amends for a relational mistake, our relationship is often stronger than it was before we made the mistake. Teach and practice\u00a0The Three R\u2019s of Recovery\u00a0<\/em>(PDMC, pages 211-212).<\/li>\n
    • Forgiveness\u00a0<\/strong>\u2013 Like making amends, teaching forgiveness skills can help children learn that their mistakes can be forgiven, and they can forgive others. Share that forgiveness means showing kindness, respect towards someone who hasn\u2019t been kind and respectful to them; (it is not excusing or explaining away hurtful behavior). Make a list of instances where children might need to forgive.\u00a0 Ask, what might forgiveness look like in each situation.\u00a0 Role-play some of the ideas.<\/li>\n
    • Sharing Feelings<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Teach children the names of various feelings. With younger children, use a feeling faces chart (PDMC, page 205).\u00a0 Practice naming feelings and sharing feelings in group settings and individually.\u00a0 Use prompting questions, privately, to support the process of sharing feelings when the \u201cgood child\u201d is upset or happy.\u00a0 \u201cIt sounds like you\u2019re\u00a0embarrassed.<\/em><\/u>\u00a0Is that how you\u2019re feeling?\u201d or \u201cIs it possible that you\u2019re feeling\u00a0proud<\/u>\u00a0of your hard work and effort?\u201d<\/li>\n
    • Assertiveness and Conflict Resolution Skills \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>Conflict can feel threatening to a child exhibiting \u201cgood child\u201d behavior. What if they are wrong?\u00a0 Teach students how to be assertive without criticism and blame using\u00a0I Language\u00a0<\/em>for elementary and adolescent students and\u00a0Bugs and Wishes\u00a0<\/em>for young children (PDMC, pages 202-206,).\u00a0 Role-play using these tools with all students at the beginning of the school year.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      General Responses<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Let Go of Minor Misbehaviors<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Accept and embrace behavioral mistakes as part of healthy development. Not every behavior requires correction; sometimes, the most supportive response is to simply let it go.<\/li>\n
      2. Listen and Provide Choices<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 This may sound like a familiar Montessori practice, but with a child who tends to ignore their own needs in order to meet adult expectations\u2014real or perceived\u2014it must become an intentional focus. Take the time to listen reflectively and validate their feelings. This helps children learn to listen to themselves. Let them know you\u00a0want<\/em>\u00a0them to make their own choices.<\/li>\n
      3. Redirect People-Pleasing Behavior<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Gently challenge the child when it seems like they are making a choice to please you rather than themselves. Ask reflective questions such as:\u00a0\u201cIs this really what you want to do, or is it what you think I want you to do?\u201d, \u201cIt sounds like you might be trying to make me happy. What would make me happy is for you to make a choice that makes\u00a0<\/em>you<\/em>\u201d, \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d, \u201cWhat feels right for you?\u201d, \u201cWhat is your gut (or inner voice) telling you?\u201d\u00a0<\/em>These moments may require both encouragement and firmness.<\/li>\n
      4. Use Humor<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Embrace your own sense of humor\u2014and the child\u2019s. Use humor to show that it\u2019s safe to take risks and make mistakes. Be silly, spontaneous, and imperfect. You may be surprised by the connection and confidence this human exchange creates.<\/li>\n
      5. Celebrate Mistakes<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Normalize and celebrate mistakes as learning opportunities. Say things like:\u00a0\u201cOh good! I made a mistake. Now I get to learn something new\u2014or improve on something I already knew.\u201d, \u201cCongratulations on your mistake!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n
      6. Observe to Encourage<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Watch closely for even the smallest signs of progress in risk-taking, mistake-making, and making amends. Record what you observe and offer specific encouragement based on those observations.<\/li>\n
      7. Set Goals for Making Mistakes<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Redirect the child\u2019s desire to please you toward healthy experimentation and growth. Try saying:\u00a0\u201cI want you to make two mistakes today. Do you think you can do it?\u201d\u00a0<\/em>This helps reinforce the message:\u00a0You are loved and accepted\u2014even when you make mistakes.<\/em><\/li>\n
      8. Use Conversational Curiosity Questions<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Use\u00a0Conversational Curiosity Questions<\/em>\u00a0(Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom, pages 194-199<\/em>) to help children reflect and learn from their mistakes in a constructive, connected way: \u201cWhat happened?\u201d, \u201cTell me about it.\u201d, \u201cHow did you feel when that happened?\u201d, \u201cWhat did you learn?\u201d, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Mistaken Goal Responses<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \u201cA misbehaving child is a discouraged child.\u201d ~ Rudoph Dreikurs<\/p>\n

        When children feel supported and encouraged in the classroom environment, and they know they belong (are loved) and feel significant (through responsibility and contribution), they thrive.\u00a0 With guidance, they develop kindness and respect for others and themselves and discover how capable they are.<\/p>\n

        When children feel discouraged, they misbehave, because they have a mistaken belief about how to belong and feel significant.\u00a0 As Rudolph Dreikurs observed children, he identified four mistaken goals that children adopt when they feel discouraged.<\/p>\n

        Below, you will find practical ideas for helping to support positive change for the behavior of negative leadership and peer pressure for each mistaken goal:<\/p>\n

        Undue Attention (Notice Me. Involve Me Usefully) \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>Rudolph Dreikurs found that \u201cgood child\u201d behavior is most often associated with the mistaken goal of\u00a0Undue Attention\u00a0<\/em>(Dreikurs & Gray, 1968).\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Children with this mistaken goal will seek to please adults through \u201cgood behavior\u201d with the motivation of being noticed and get special service (doing for me that which I can do for myself).<\/p>\n

        Responses: Involve in useful tasks that serve others.\u00a0\u00a0 Involve in group-problem solving activities or projects.\u00a0 Plan special time doing activities where you can model mistake-making (a puzzle, game, etc.).\u00a0 Encourage creative expression. Use\u00a0Reflective Listening\u00a0<\/em>to support the child in expressing their feelings.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Redirect tattling behavior to the\u00a0Class Meeting.\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0Work with child to develop their own goals.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Avoid praise for \u201cgood behavior.\u201d\u00a0 Give encouragement for helping others, sharing feelings, making mistakes and making progress on individual goals.<\/p>\n

        Misguided Power (Let Me Help. Give Me Choices) \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>A child with the mistaken goal of\u00a0Misguided Power\u00a0<\/em>will exhibit \u201cgood child\u201d behavior to demonstrate that they are in control and avoid adult intervention.\u00a0 Their behaviors may be more active, including tattling, policing and taking on adult-like responsibilities.<\/p>\n

        Responses: Redirect tattling or policing behavior to useful help.\u00a0\u201cYes, he did walk on the mat.\u00a0 How might you help him?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Explore the child\u2019s interests to help develop process-oriented work vs. rote or task-oriented work. Provide collaboration and leadership opportunities, especially where the child can act as a mentor.\u00a0 Avoid giving directives; instead, involve the student in problem-solving.\u00a0 Reinforce that \u201cfair\u201d is not when everyone gets the same thing but when everyone gets what they need.<\/p>\n

        Revenge (I\u2019m Hurting.\u00a0 Validate My Feelings) \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>Children who have\u00a0Revenge\u00a0<\/em>as their mistaken goal will sometimes exhibit \u201cgood child\u201d behavior to find favor with adults or peers until they feel hurt, and then they act out and hurt others.\u00a0 Adults might observe,\u00a0\u201cI can\u2019t believe she did that; she was being such an angel.\u201d\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0This can be confusing.<\/p>\n

        Responses: Take time to explore and validate the child\u2019s feelings when the child is not feeling hurt \u2013 show them you will listen.\u00a0 Show unconditional love and acceptance when they make mistakes \u2013 even mistakes that hurt others.\u00a0 Focus on repair not punishment. Encourage creative expression.\u00a0 Teach assertive language, especially\u00a0I Language\u00a0<\/em>and\u00a0Bugs and Wishes.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Provide opportunities for making mistakes where there is low risk for criticism by peers.\u00a0 Use\u00a0Conversational Curiosity Questions\u00a0<\/em>after the child has cooled down to debrief hurtful social interactions.<\/p>\n

        Assumed Inadequacy (Don\u2019t Give Up on Me.\u00a0 Show Me a Small Step) \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>A child with\u00a0Assumed Inadequacy<\/em>\u00a0as their mistaken goal, will exhibit \u201cgood child\u201d behavior as a way of giving up (not taking risks or making mistakes) or being left alone (flying under the radar).<\/p>\n

        Responses: Put the child on your lesson plan for frequent check-ins.\u00a0 Take time to closely observe activity during the day.\u00a0 Redirect from \u201cbusy work\u201d to purposeful work (Montessori materials).\u00a0 Break multi-step work and tasks into bite-sized pieces.\u00a0 Provide opportunities for the child to experience and work through challenges or discomfort \u2013 with support and encouragement.\u00a0 Start small when metering out challenges, providing opportunities for many small successes.\u00a0 When supporting the child to work through a challenge,\u00a0Work, With, Work Near, Let Them Work Independently.<\/em>\u00a0 Model making mistakes.<\/p>\n

        Josh\u2019s Story<\/strong><\/p>\n

        As I was writing this article, I met Montessori adolescent guide Joshua Duelm at a workshop I was leading for the Montessori School of San Antonio. During an activity on Mistaken Goals, I shared an example of \u201cgood child\u201d behavior\u2014how it often goes unaddressed and can lead to more serious consequences later in life.<\/p>\n

        At lunch, Josh pulled me aside and said, \u201cYou told my story when you talked about the \u2018good child\u2019 being a form of misbehavior. I experienced those consequences you described when I was in college.\u00a0 I found myself wishing I had had an adult in my life who recognized and guided me through my insecurities.\u201d<\/p>\n

        Josh explained that during his elementary years, his family faced serious financial struggles. He remembered worrying about his parents, wanting to help, and not wanting to add to their stress. That experience shaped his thinking: he decided he would go to college to earn a good living and support his family.<\/p>\n

        When he shared his plan with his parents, they responded gently but honestly: \u201cWe don\u2019t have the money to send you to college. You\u2019d have to get all A\u2019s to earn a full-ride scholarship.\u201d Josh made up his mind\u2014at just nine years old\u2014to get perfect grades and be the ideal child. As he put it, \u201cThere was a lot I couldn\u2019t control in my life at that time, but I knew I could control how hard I worked and the grades I got.\u201d He believed that by excelling, he could protect and support his parents.<\/p>\n

        \u201cThe individual is not determined by heredity or environment but by the meanings he gives to his experiences.\u201d (Alfred Adler, 1958)<\/p>\n

        Psychologist, Alfred Adler believed that while we are influenced by our circumstances, it is ultimately our decisions\u2014our interpretations, goals, and chosen responses\u2014that shape who we are. Decisions are potent. Josh\u2019s decision was potent.<\/p>\n

        In school, Josh described himself as someone who pleased his teachers but felt distant from his classmates. \u201cI didn\u2019t mix with the kids who got in trouble, and I would help the teacher enforce the rules.\u00a0 I developed a mission for justice.\u00a0 Of course, my \u2018gold star\u2019 behavior was rewarded by adults but punished by my peers, who didn\u2019t trust me<\/p>\n

        As Josh got older, his \u201cgood child\u201d behavior took on new forms. \u201cWe lived in a big football town. I wasn\u2019t a great football player. But I was a very good student, and I knew more than most kids\u2014sometimes even more than my teachers. I joined the debate team, and that\u2019s when I learned to weaponize my intellect. Knowing \u2018the rules\u2019 and \u2018performing\u2019 helped me feel powerful, like I had control.\u201d<\/p>\n

        True to his decision, Josh graduated from high school with straight A\u2019s. He earned the scholarship his parents had said was necessary for college and enrolled at Rice University to study education, with the goal of becoming a history teacher. Just as he had done in high school, he worked hard and maintained straight A\u2019s\u2014until his senior year, when he began his student teaching practicum.<\/p>\n

        \u201cAs a student, I\u2019d always believed that following the rules\u2014like mastering the content\u2014would lead to success,\u201d he said. \u201cBut during my practicum, I hit a wall. There were too many variables, especially with student relationships. If a student misbehaved, I\u2019d respond with my \u2018gold star\u2019 mindset\u2014look up the right response in a textbook. But I couldn\u2019t control students like I could a test. I was overwhelmed by everything that didn\u2019t respond to my usual approach. I failed my first practicum and had a real crisis. Pleasing others, working hard, following rules, being superior\u2014none of those strategies worked in a real classroom with real humans.\u201d<\/p>\n

        When I asked how he got through that experience, Josh credited the unconditional love of his wife. \u201cMy formula didn\u2019t work in our relationship either. But she loved me even when I made mistakes. That helped me start believing that mistakes really are learning opportunities. Missing the mark doesn\u2019t have to mean shame or guilt\u2014it just means you\u2019re not there\u2026 YET.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \u201cRealizing that discomfort is part of growth helped me let go of my \u2018gold star\u2019 mindset. I came to understand that we all deserve grace. That insight changed how I see justice. It\u2019s no longer just about punishment\u2014justice is about moving forward together, fairly, and with compassion. It\u2019s liberation from the feeling of inadequacy, which drove my misbehavior.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \u201cAs a teacher now, I strive to create an environment where students aren\u2019t rewarded for simply pleasing the teacher or performing perfectly. I want them to learn how to work together, to recognize their own worth, and to value learning through shared experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

        Sounds like a Montessori classroom.<\/p>\n

        References<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Brown, B. B., & Larson, J. (2009).\u00a0Peer Relationships in Adolescence<\/em>. In R. M. Lerner & L. Steinberg (Eds.),\u00a0Handbook of Adolescent Psychology<\/em>\u00a0(3rd ed.).<\/p>\n

        Dreikurs, R., & Grey, L. (1968).\u00a0Psychology in the classroom: A manual for teachers<\/em>\u00a0(2nd ed.). New York, NY: Harper & Row.<\/p>\n

        Dreikurs, R., Grunwald, B. B., & Pepper, F. C. (2004).\u00a0Maintaining sanity in the classroom: Classroom management techniques<\/em>. Taylor & Francis.<\/p>\n

        Dweck, C. S. (2006).\u00a0Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.<\/em>\u00a0New York: Random House.<\/p>\n

        Lillard, A. S. (2017).\u00a0Montessori: The science behind the genius<\/em>\u00a0(3rd ed.). Oxford University Press.<\/p>\n

        Montessori, M. (1956).\u00a0Citizen of the world<\/em>\u00a0(p. 118). Kalakshetra.<\/p>\n

        Montessori, M. (1995).\u00a0The absorbent mind<\/em>\u00a0(C.\u202fClaremont, Trans.). New York, NY: Henry Holt.\u00a0(Original work published 1949)<\/em><\/p>\n

        Nelsen, J. (2006).\u00a0Positive Discipline: The classic guide to helping children develop self\u2011discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem\u2011solving skills<\/em>\u00a0(Revised & updated ed.). New York, NY: Ballantine Books.<\/p>\n

        Nelsen, J., & DeLorenzo, C. (2021).\u00a0Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom: Preparing an environment that fosters respect, kindness & responsibility<\/em>. Fair Oaks, CA: Parent Child Press.<\/p>\n

        Standing, E. M. (1957).\u00a0Maria Montessori: Her life and work<\/em>. Plume.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        by Chip DeLorenzo \u201cThe obedience which is expected of the child both in the home and in the school \u2013 and obedience admitting neither of reason nor of justice \u2013 prepares man to be docile to blind forces.\u00a0\u201d ~ Maria Montessori Annabelle seemed to be the ideal Montessori child. She was friendly, helpful, cooperative, quiet, and focused on her work, which she always completed with great care. She was well-liked by both her teachers and peers. In high school, Annabelle earned numerous awards for her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":15181,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,62],"tags":[103,99,43,44],"class_list":["post-15180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-montessori","category-parenting","tag-behavior","tag-development","tag-montessori","tag-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15180"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15182,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15180\/revisions\/15182"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raintreemontessori.org\/current\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}